“I looked down and staring right back up at me were two bright pink lines. This time I thought, “I’ve really done it now.” And I slumped to the floor of that dirty drugstore bathroom in complete isolation and said out loud to myself, “How could you be so stupid?”
…in a panic, Rebekah searches “abortion clinic near me” and is given
I swallowed that first abortion pill to end my pregnancy. I knew there was no going back. And she handed me a brown lunch sack full of the rest of the medication. And by the time I got to my car, two, three minutes max, I sat down and I started sifting through that bag and I saw the pain medication and the antibiotic and the second abortion inducing drugs.
And it all kind of hit me and I said, “What did I just do? I don’t even believe in abortion. I was in church three days ago. I’ll be in church three days from now. What if we could have done it? And what if my dad wouldn’t have killed me? And has this pill already run its course? And has my baby already died?”
And then I thought, “Oh my gosh, tomorrow, March 14th, the day I’m supposed to complete this abortion, is my oldest son’s first birthday.” And now every March 14th is going to be marked as a day that I brought one baby into this world and took another one out.
So I’m sobbing in my car outside of this abortion provider’s office. And I felt like Satan himself was saying, “Gotcha. I got you to lean on your own understanding, to believe that it was your body and your choice.” And I felt like Satan himself wanted to just leave me in that grief.
And I tell you that as a reminder to be praying for the young people here and beyond, because they are not facing just an earthly physical battle. They’re facing a deceiver who’s after the life of their baby and their eternal soul.
And after crying and hyperventilating, I started to pray and I said, “God, if there’s a way out of this, please help me find it. And if not, Father, just please forgive me.” And at least this time, I prayed.
But ultimately, I did what we all do and I turned to my phone and I did some variation of a search saying, “I’ve started a medication abortion and I don’t want to finish it.” And to my surprise, ever since the FDA approved this in the early 2000s, girls like me had said the same thing. I’ve messed up. I want to go back. I have regrets. But the answers they received were not possible. You have to finish what you started.
And so finally, I’m scrolling and I’m scrolling and I finally found one advertisement. It was a pregnancy clinic just like LaVie, a place I didn’t even know existed. And it said something like, “If you’ve started an abortion and are having second thoughts, please call us.” And so I thought, “Well, what are they going to do? Are they going to pray for me? Are they going to yell at me? Are they going to call my mom?” And then I realized, “You’ve got nothing else to lose.”
And so I called and I spoke to a nurse manager, much like Nurse Christy, who you’ve got here in that role. And in just seconds, she asked me questions that no abortion provider bothered to ask. Like, who are you and how did you get here? And what’s your home life like and your spiritual life like? And what do you know about abortion and the pill you already took? Why do you think this was your only option?
And through my tears, she says, “Honey, I keep hearing you say your dad is going to kill you. Can I just ask, has he ever killed anyone before?” And I looked up through my car window and kind of wiped my tears and actually had to say out loud to her, “No, I would be his first murder.”
And I couldn’t believe how irrationally I had been thinking, but no one had bothered to speak sense into me to say, “Maybe that’s actually not going to happen. Maybe we can come alongside you to offer some help and to support you and baby and dad. And maybe abortion isn’t your only option.” And these are the kinds of conversations that your staff get to have with women before they drive up the street or order these abortion pills online.
And then the nurse went on and she said, “You know, you took a pill to deprive your baby of progesterone. What if we just put progesterone back into your body? What if we put you on the same regimen we give to women who are about to miscarry? What if we could out compete the abortion pill? Would you let us try?” And I said, “Yes, absolutely.”
And within about 12 hours of starting that abortion, I was sitting with this pregnancy clinic and a nearby partnering physician receiving progesterone that I would stay on for several weeks, and literally crying out, giving my life to Jesus. I don’t want to get emotional. Sorry.
Now, you’re probably wondering what happened, and I won’t keep that from you. But I want to tell you that when I explained to the abortion provider what I had done, they said, “There’s no going back. That’s impossible. And if you carried to term, which is not likely, Rebecca, you will probably deliver a baby born with severe fetal anomalies.” So now I’m thinking, “Oh my word, I’m going to be 18 and homeless and poor with two babies, one of which has fetal anomalies that I caused.”
And I gave it to the Lord and felt God say, leaning on your own understanding got you into this pit. So you’re going to have to really trust me to get you out. And with the pregnancy clinic in my corner, I came to the realization that even if all of those things were true and we never had money and I never graduated and my dad never spoke to me, and even if my baby had a severe fetal anomaly, their life had value and I had to stop trying to end it. Value that comes not from what that baby would ever do, but just who they were, made in the image of God. So not necessarily only quality of life, but sanctity of life. And I rested in that.
And I did stay on that progesterone for several weeks. I carried to term, a full 41 weeks of pregnancy, but who’s counting? And on October 20th of that year, I gave birth to another little boy who I named Zachariah. And I’ll tell you, he was born and still is perfectly healthy. And Zachariah, that name, means “the Lord remembers.” And I gave him that name because when I looked at him and our journey to this point, I said, “God’s fingerprints are all over this story.”
[I] want to invite you to say yes, to stand in the gap for women like me and children like mine, through both prayer and provision. The truth is, in a culture of abortion on demand, and you probably caught this from my whole message, but I’m going to go ahead and really highlight it here: we’ve got to be here now more than ever, offering care that is immediate, compassionate, and yes, life affirming.
Your yes tonight ensures that no one is ever turned away. Quite literally, your generosity ensures that the doors of our clinic stay open, which means moms, dads, babies, men, and women, students served.
Your yes allows us to show up online when nearly everyone turns to the internet for answers. Now, I’ll tell you, just speaking really honestly here, competing with big abortion online, it’s not cheap, but it is absolutely critical. It takes a lot of money every year to have an online presence to connect with women exactly when they need us most. But it’s your generosity that ensures when they go searching, they find help and hope. And they know that we are here waiting for her.
Your yes allows us to train and retain staff that act as the hands and feet of Jesus, that bring hope as they minister to confused and broken young people.
Your yes allows us to empower, educate, and equip those in our family resource program who are going through classes long after baby is born. And fun fact, we have 125 participants in our parenting program right now. Moms and dads, you made that possible.
And last, but certainly not least, your yes keeps our critical services free to those who are vulnerable to choosing abortion now or in the future. The pregnancy testing, the ultrasounds, the options education, the sports physicals to reach young people and build relationship, the reproductive health services like STI testing and treatment, the material support, diapers, cribs, wipes, clothing, all of that. You are the only reason it happens. You eliminate barriers to parenting.
And tonight, we’re prayerfully hoping that you’ll consider saying yes in two ways: through a special one-time gift tonight or in the near future, and through an ongoing monthly investment. And if you’re wondering, well, what does LaVie need more? I would say honest to goodness, they need both. The same way your household might run on someone’s monthly paycheck and an annual bonus is the same way that LaVie operates.
One-time gifts allow us to meet the needs ahead of us today. It keeps the appointments that are scheduled honored with care. But the reality is, three, six, nine months from now, the needs aren’t stopping. In fact, they’re growing. And so it’s the monthly supporters that allow us to say yes, not just today, but truly every day that we’re open.
