Parenting has no step-by-step manual. The “how to” books out there are just one way to approach parenting, but we’ve all learned it’s not a one-size-fits-all scenario. That happened when we had more than one kid and the things that worked like a charm before, don’t work on baby number 2! There are rich principles found in scripture, but how do we practically apply them?
As Christian parents, we deeply desire to instill Biblical truths in the hearts of our kids to anchor their identity, establish their value and to guide our teens through life’s most important decisions. Having regular spiritual conversations is a key piece to their growth and understanding. Oftentimes, these conversations can come alongside of just doing life and discussing what they are facing in the here and now. An inevitable conversation that will come up and needs to be had, but is one of the most uncomfortable for parents is sex, relationships, and all the complexities that come with it like teen pregnancy, peer pressure, birth control, and even abortion.
These aren’t easy topics. But avoiding them leaves our teens vulnerable to fear, shame, and silence—especially when they need us most. In contrast, open, honest, and grace-filled conversations build trust, confidence, and wisdom. We want our kids to know this: their bodies are not something to be ashamed of, sex is not dirty, God has a perfect plan for sex, and they can come to us no matter what.
Why These Conversations Matter
In a culture where sex is everywhere, teens are under immense pressure. If we don’t speak into their lives, the world gladly will. And when fear, shame, or silence surround these topics, teens may make secretive decisions that carry deep consequences—sometimes out of desperation to avoid disappointing us.
We believe that when teens understand God’s design for sex as something good, beautiful, and worth waiting for, and when they know their parents are a safe place to turn, they are empowered to make wise and healthy choices.
Even if a teen does make a mistake or faces an unplanned pregnancy, we want them to feel supported, not shamed. We want them to know: you are loved, and you are not alone.
10 Conversation Starters to Help You Open the Door
You don’t need to have all the answers. Just start talking—and listening.
- “What are your friends at school saying about dating, sex, or relationships lately?”
- This invites conversation without making it personal right away.
- “When do you think is the right time for someone to have sex? Why?”
- Let them wrestle with this question and hear your perspective too.
- “How do you think movies and social media shape what people expect from relationships?”
- Use media to spark reflection, not just criticism.
- “Have you ever felt pressure in a relationship to do something you weren’t ready for?”
- Empathize before you advise.
- “Do you know what the Bible actually says about sex? Want to read and talk about it together?”
- This can be a non-awkward way to explore Scripture together.
- “If one of your friends got pregnant, how do you think she would feel? What would you say to her?”
- This helps teens think through scenarios in a non-threatening way.
- “What do you think makes a relationship healthy—or unhealthy?”
- Look for teachable moments on emotional, spiritual, and physical boundaries.
- “Have you heard about birth control or abortion from your friends or online? What’s your take on it?”
- Better to hear their thoughts than assume.
- “How do you think our faith should guide choices about sex and relationships?”
- Connect belief with behavior.
- “If you ever faced something really hard in this area—pregnancy, pressure, anything—how can we be there for you?”
- Assure them of your love before they ever need it.
5 Scriptures to Ground These Conversations in Grace and Truth
These verses can be shared naturally in conversation or studied together.
1. Psalm 139:13–14
“You created my inmost being… I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
Your teen’s body and identity are precious to God.
2. 1 Corinthians 6:19–20
“Your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit… Honor God with your bodies.”
Their bodies are sacred and worth honoring—not shamed.
3. Romans 8:1
“There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
Mistakes don’t disqualify them from love or grace.
4. Song of Songs 8:4
“Do not awaken love until it so desires.”
There’s beauty in waiting, and love in the right season.
5. Proverbs 3:5–6
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart… and he will make your paths straight.”
God wants to lead and guide them through every decision.
Don’t Wait for the Perfect Moment
Start where you are. You don’t have to be an expert—just be available. Your willingness to talk openly creates space for your teen to share, learn, and grow. If they feel safe with you now, they’ll come to you when it really counts.
Let’s raise teens who know that their sexuality is not a source of shame, but a beautiful part of who God made them to be—one to be stewarded with wisdom, not fear.
