“She walks through our doors, scared and unsure…”
She may be overwhelmed by fear, isolation, and pressure. She may believe abortion is her only option. But in that moment, she is met with something unexpected—gentle voices, open hands, and hearts ready to walk with her.
At LaVie Health, our nurses, receptionists, and providers meet every woman with grace, education, and empowerment. They remind her she is not alone. They give her time, truth, and space to breathe. We interviewed our team to help us all understand just exactly how they do it.
Grace in Every First Word
Before the phone is even answered or the ultrasound begins, our team prepares their hearts in prayer.
“I pray the Lord would be in my words, my facial expressions, my hand gestures… I know I could never do this job if the Lord was not guiding me.” – Sharlotte, RN
Receptionists slow down to listen, reminding each caller:
- “You are in the driver’s seat.”
- “We are here for you.”
- “You matter.”
This is where trust begins—before she even steps into the room.
Education, Not Persuasion
Our nurses know the difference:
- Persuasion tries to control the outcome.
- Education empowers her to make an informed choice.
“Education is unbiased. It brings empowerment. It allows women to advocate for themselves—not just now, but long term.” – Kristi, RN, Nurse Manager
Women leave knowing their medical safety, emotional health, and future matters. Every conversation gives them tools, clarity, and the confidence to decide with open eyes.
Compassion in the Exam Room
Every patient comes with her own story: fear of finances, pressure from a partner, or the belief that abortion is her only way forward. Our team listens first.
- “What is the thing you are most worried about right now?”
- “What is your biggest concern at this time?”
When women feel heard, they begin to breathe again. They begin to hope.
The Weight We Carry
These conversations aren’t easy. Our staff carry the heaviness of grief, confusion, and sometimes loss.
“It’s heartbreaking when you know how the decision of abortion will wound the woman in front of you, but it’s ultimately out of your control. I have to trust God’s goodness and give Him the burden.” – Kristi, RN, Nurse Manager
Even when a woman chooses abortion, seeds of love and truth have been planted. Many women return later because they felt safe, respected, and not judged.
Grace and Truth Together
Every voice on our team echoes this balance:
- Truth without grace can crush someone.
- Grace without truth can leave someone lost.
- But truth wrapped in grace can open the door to hope.
“Women don’t choose abortion because they want one. They choose it because they feel it’s their only way out. If more Christians understood that, they would start to empathize instead of judge.” – Sharlotte, RN
A Sacred Privilege
Each story is holy ground. Each conversation is a chance to reflect Jesus’ compassion.
“When someone meets you in your most vulnerable moments and you feel truly seen and loved, it changes everything.” – Alicia, Receptionist
You Can Help Create These Moments
Every prayer, every dollar, every act of support helps make space for a woman to encounter grace instead of judgment, truth instead of confusion, and hope instead of fear.
Together, we can surround women with the care, compassion, and resources they need to choose life.
Matthew 9:36 “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.”
Raw Interviews
Below are the raw interviews of our team if you’d like to read more from their heart in how they see and approach their job.
Each team member was asked the same eleven questions. Here were their answers.
Kristi Williams, RN – Nurse Manager
- How do you prepare your heart and mind before meeting with a woman who may be abortion-minded? Often in prayer. Submitting to the Holy Spirit, knowing and trusting that God’s will be done. Opening myself up to be a conduit to speak the words He has or to just be a source of gentleness and kindness in a dark moment of their life.
- How do you approach a conversation with a woman who’s seriously considering abortion? What’s your goal in that moment? Connection and trust. I want her to first and foremost to feel safe in my care. This helps to break down barriers that might get in the way of her “seeing” her pregnancy and hearing the words she needs to hear.
- How do you ensure she feels respected, seen, and not coerced? In addition to above…being genuine, sharing truth in love, and ultimately ensuring she knows that she has a choice and the decision is hers. It’s important they don’t feel like the choice or the decision is being taken away. Being empowered to make the decision and to know you have a choice can allow for new perspectives to be considered.
- Can you share specific phrases or approaches you’ve found helpful in building trust and offering clarity? “In my experience, no good decision is made in haste…you have time” “This is one of the most important decisions you will make in your life and it deserves as much time and attention as possible before making a final decision that will impact the rest of your life.” “I know it’s important to you that we get answers as soon as possible and I don’t ever want you to feel like we are delaying any care. And so that’s what we will do, get answers as soon as possible. It’s most important that we know first and foremost you have a safe pregnancy. And most often, knowing for sure what is going on with your pregnancy helps in the decision-making” “We are here for you. We will walk this out with you for as long as you will allow us. And we will care for you without judgement, no matter what you decide.” Honestly, I find that just being real and genuine and approaching first from a standpoint that this is important medically and that we care about her whole being helps significantly. It doesn’t always change their mind, but it builds the trust relationship. Because we know there will very likely be another pregnancy and we want her to feel like she is safe to walk through our doors again.
- What’s the difference between education and persuasion in your role—and why is that difference so important? Education is unbiased. It’s a language everyone can understand, gain from, appreciate. Education brings empowerment to make good decisions, not just now but long term. We want what we say to be lasting and to create thought. Again, these women want honesty and genuineness. Education provides that. Medical insight and education allows one to know how to advocate for themselves. Very important in today’s world.
- What emotions do you carry after these conversations—especially when a woman is in deep fear, confusion, or pain? It’s heartbreaking. It’s painful and frustrating too especially when you know how the decision of abortion is going to destroy the person sitting in front of you but its ultimately out of your control. It’s hard when you see something that someone else cannot.
- How do you process it spiritually and emotionally when a woman chooses abortion despite your support and care? I have to rely on the goodness and faithfulness of my Lord and Savior. I have to know that He loves and cares for her and that baby more than I ever could. And I have to trust that its OK for me to grieve that loss, but also its healthiest for me to move forward and give it to God to take that burden for me.
- How do you balance telling the truth about abortion with offering radical grace to someone who might not agree with you? Sometimes I say “Our culture says “this” about abortion, but in my experience when working with women who’ve been through abortion, “this” is what I know and what I’ve seen.” I convey to her that there are no absolutes. And everyone’s experience and story truly is different. It’s not for me to say what it’s going to be for the women sitting in front of me. Sometimes I just say, “the next decision you make may be the most important decision you ever make. And it truly is your decision. You have to decide which one you can live with for the rest of your life.” Either way, I ensure her that we are here to offer as much support and information as we possibly can for as long as she will allow us to be a part of her story.
- Can you describe a moment when you felt the Holy Spirit lead your words during a difficult conversation? I can’t think of a specific moment. I had one recently that I don’t know that I specifically felt the Holy Spirit in a specific moment, but it was when the couple came back and shared that they only wanted to see me for on going USs. I realized then that we had more of a connection than I thought. I think that’s the Holy Spirit. The “connection” isn’t just in the moment, but may linger as they go home and talk about or reflect on their time with us. I’m just reminded to trust the Holy Spirit to continue His work after they leave us.
- What do you wish more Christians understood about how to talk about abortion with empathy, not judgment? Where do I start!?! We are talking about very broken people. We were all broken before knowing Christ. He makes us whole again. These, for the most part, are women who don’t know Christ…who have never experienced His amazing grace. I think sometimes we, as Christians, forget that it is only by His grace that we even know Him and can experience His wisdom, love, kindness, and discernment. We should only feel for them as Christ did for us despite our depravity. And that is Christ had (and has) compassion for us. Matthew 9:36: When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.
- What have you learned about love, humility, and listening that you wish others could experience? Every person has a story. No matter what I think going into an appointment, I very often feel very different coming out of the appointment. Stepping knee deep into someone else’s life, circumstances and pain is humbling. I’m reminded daily of God’s redeeming love, grace, and mercy. And I desire that for every one of my patients. I’ve always said, I wish our donors/supporters could spend one day, even one appointment, in my shoes. It’s a very different perspective. And I can almost guarantee it will change your perspective. We live in a very broken and hurting world…when is the last time you got down in the mud and muck with someone?
Sharlotte, RN
1. I pray. I pray that the Lord would use me in whatever that looks like. I pray the Lord be my words, my facial expressions, my hand gestures, just all the verbal and nonverbal communication. I pray that he gives me the ability to love people like he loves them. I pray for the wisdom and knowing what to say, and the ability to discern their needs. I know that there’s no way I could ever do this job if the Lord was not guiding me every step of the way.
2. I’m very open-minded. I want to find out her concerns, her needs, her worries, and her fears to see what is driving her decision, so I ask questions to find this out. I want her to feel like she can tell me anything, there is no judgment, and I’m listening.
3. I ask them questions to find out what they already know about the three options and what they are planning. I then discuss further the three options with factual medical information. I discuss resources. I let them know that I want them to be fully educated on all their options prior to making any decision because it is a lifelong decision. I encourage them to take time, think about all the options, and how it will impact them. I encourage them to weigh and write down the pros and cons of each option to help them decide what option is best for them at this time.
4. What is the thing you are most worried about right now? What is your biggest concern at this time? What is the one thing I can help you most with? There is absolutely no judgment, and we are here to help you in whatever way we can.
5. There is a huge difference between education and persuasion. Persuasion is when you try to talk to somebody into something based on your beliefs or your perception. Education is when you can give someone information both verbally and written or digital and help them to understand the information so they have the knowledge and power to make their own decision based on factual information which is so important because the decision has to be their own and no one else’s, because the decision they make will impact them for the rest of their life.
6. It weighs heavy on my heart because I just want to help them in whatever way we can. I know they are often unsure and scared about the future, worried about finances, feel alone, fearful of what other people will think and feel like they have to do something about their situation right now. Sometimes it is exhausting because you pour so much of your heart and time into helping them.
7. It does make me sad for them because I know that most women I talk to that have had abortions in the past regret that decision. I don’t want to see anyone else live with the regret of that decision. I also know that Jesus sees them, Jesus is in control, and all I need to do is what He asks me; the decision is not in my control.
8. I just stick to the facts, and the facts will speak the truth. Oftentimes times people believe what they believe because they are misinformed and do not have factual information. Jesus calls us to love everyone. We do not have to agree with a person or what they do, but we do need to extend grace to them just as Jesus extends daily grace to us and unconditional love.
9. All of the time, it is the Holy Spirit leading me because I do not possess unconditional love and grace on my own, nor am I articulate with speech. I think the most memorable times are when we pray right before going into a room for something specific and witnessing an answer to prayer right there, whether it’s a woman’s heart softening, her opening up about her story and situation, or making a decision to be a parent to the little baby she is carrying inside of her.
10. Women don’t just choose abortion because they’re just dying to have an abortion. They choose abortion because they feel it is the only way out of their difficult and often unimaginable situation. If more Christians would educate themselves on why women choose abortion, try to understand the reasons, and imagine themselves in the same situation, then maybe they would start to empathize instead of judge. More Christians should take the time to mentor younger women instead of judging them.
Sarah, RN
- We have pt’s fill out a very simple decision aid with their paperwork to check in at the beginning of their appt. Patients are surprisingly honest with what they are considering for their pregnancy as options, and they list the reasons why they are considering those options. They also write down their closest support people and what those people are in favor of as far as parenting, adoption, or abortion. This short screening helps me to gauge where the patient is at and exactly why, so I can prepare to ask more specific questions throughout the appointment regarding what their main reasons are.
- I have become much more straightforward in conversations with our abortion minded patients. I hope to help patients feel heard and seen by addressing their specific concerns, because the reasons and fears behind every patient considering abortion are unique to her.
- I ask questions. I really try to actively listen to the patient’s reasoning for considering abortion (even if I disagree or don’t believe they are reasonable) because there are always more clarifying questions to ask or new perspectives to dig into with her. I want her to feel seen and heard and know that she is safe here. Oftentimes, we can troubleshoot different resources specifically based on her needs or fears as well!
- One phrase I end up saying with every patient after they tell me how many pregnancy tests they took is, “No one ever just takes one!” This seems simple, but it usually produces a little chuckle, and offers reassurance that they are not alone, at all! Almost every single woman takes multiple tests, whether they were seeking pregnancy or not. It does not feel real, and it can feel isolating to be experiencing something that only a little stick tells you is real. This simple phrase breaks the ice, builds a little rapport, and lets patients know they are not alone in their feelings of disbelief, specifically. Other important trust-building statements are simply explaining what good medical care is for early pregnancy: first, we need to confirm your pregnancy, next explaining the importance of having an ultrasound to rule out an ectopic pregnancy, explaining what an ectopic pregnancy is, and how the abortion pills are not the correct medication to treat an ectopic. I explain that having an ultrasound at the correct time (at least 5 weeks so we will hopefully see a yolk sac and rule out ectopic pregnancy) is not “delaying care”, but is important for her safety.
- I do not persuade. I educate. Pure and simple. Good education is all our patients need and what they deserve. Everywhere else (social media, politically charged ads, PPH) is trying to persuade them, and we simply do not need to! We love them by telling them the entire truth, including the emotional effects of abortion, the importance of being able to grieve the loss of their baby, whether it is through miscarriage or abortion, and that trauma is something experienced in isolation. I educate my patients that are abortion determined that they needs to speak with a counselor, a trusted friend, or family member about this experience because if she goes it alone, the emotional toll will be even more traumatic for her and difficult to move forward from. This isn’t a guilt tactic or shaming or even persuasion; it is trying to empower my patient to reach out for help when she needs it and understand that she probably will need it.
- I feel so much pity and empathy for gals who are completely overwhelmed. Becoming a mom is pretty overwhelming, let alone doing it without any support system at all.
- I am getting really good over the few years I have been here at accepting that and moving on. God gave me a picture one time of babies in Heaven, perfectly safe and at home with Him, and that is a picture I bring to mind if I am too overwhelmed by the loss. I also know that God is all about redemption, and my prayer then shifts to God bringing about redemption in the mom’s life, and I know that is what He is all about.
- I think this is shown through our repeat patients coming back to us on their next pregnancy after an abortion. I know they feel loved and not judged because they sometimes come back in a very similar place and/or sometimes come back completely excited to be pregnant. But many many patients continue to come back to us, which means that we as an organization are able to convey our love and acceptance of where she is at currently, despite her past decisions.
- I still don’t know how this situation turned out, but I was speaking with a patient over the phone about a tricky medical situation she had that she felt meant she needed to have an abortion. We talked the medical talk first and the need for follow-up with a trusted doctor, and then there came a point I just said, “I’ve got nothing else for you, but can I pray for you?” She took me up on it, and I was able to pray for her. There were lots of tears, and she just said she was so thankful for our conversation and the prayer.
- Very rarely do our patients choose to have an abortion out of convenience. They are more often than not completely overwhelmed in every aspect of life: too young, too old, abuse, unhealthy relationships, no financial stability, and sometimes addiction has also completely overthrown their lives. My story has been so different: I have a healthy family and community that I can fall back onto if everything else fell apart, and so I cannot imagine ever being so overwhelmed that I could not bring another child into my family or weather a storm. If you can really listen to someone else’s story, you can find some empathy.
- Oftentimes loving someone is all we can do. We can’t convince people of things, and sometimes we can’t even offer advice unless asked. Listening with intention lets people feel known. We all crave to be known.
Alicia C, DNP
1. How do you prepare your heart and mind before meeting with a woman who may be abortion-minded?
I pray and ask the Holy Spirit to guide my words. I remind myself that she is coming with her own story, fears, and pain. My role is not to fix anything but to love her and be present.
2. How do you approach a conversation with a woman who’s seriously considering abortion? What’s your goal in that moment?
I approach with gentleness and asking open-ended questions to understand her situation. My goal is to listen, affirm her worth, and provide clarity about her options while offering hope and support.
3. How do you ensure she feels respected, seen, and not coerced?
I slow down, listen more than I speak, and reflect back what she shares so she knows I hear her. I make sure she understands she has freedom in her decision and that I am here to walk alongside her.
4. Can you share specific phrases or approaches you’ve found helpful in building trust and offering clarity?
“Thank you for trusting me with your story.”
5. What’s the difference between education and persuasion in your role—and why is that difference so important?
Education means giving her accurate information so she can make a fully informed choice. Persuasion implies I’m trying to control the outcome. The difference is important because to provide the best care I need to educate not persuade. True care means empowering her, not pressuring her.
6. What emotions do you carry after these conversations—especially when a woman is in deep fear, confusion, or pain?
I often carry a mixture of grief and compassion. It’s heavy to witness someone wrestling with such a hard decision. But I also carry hope, because I know God sees her and loves her even more than I do.
7. How do you process it spiritually and emotionally when a woman chooses abortion despite your support and care?
I bring it to God in prayer and remind myself that the outcome is not in my hands. My role is to love, speak truth, and offer support. I trust that seeds of compassion and truth may still grow in her heart later, even if I don’t see it right now.
8. How do you balance telling the truth about abortion with offering radical grace to someone who might not agree with you?
I hold truth and grace together. I speak truth with gentleness, never harshness, and I remind her that God’s love is bigger than her past, present, or future decisions. Grace without truth can leave someone lost, and truth without grace can crush someone. Both must be present.
9. Can you describe a moment when you felt the Holy Spirit lead your words during a difficult conversation?
Yes—there have been moments when I didn’t know what to say, and suddenly the right words came out. In those moments, I knew it wasn’t me, but the Spirit speaking through me.
10. What do you wish more Christians understood about how to talk about abortion with empathy, not judgment?
I wish they understood that many women already feel shame and fear. Harsh words only push them further away. What women need is compassion, a listening ear, and someone willing to walk with them. Truth is best received when it is wrapped in love.
11. What have you learned about love, humility, and listening that you wish others could experience?
I’ve learned that true love means entering her story with humility. Listening without rushing to fix builds trust and opens the door for hope. Humility means remembering that I, too, am in need of grace daily.
Jeanne, Lead Receptionist
1. How do you prepare your heart and mind before answering phone calls all day with women who may be abortion-minded? Prayer.
2. How do you ensure she feels respected, seen, and not coerced while on the phone? I think about if this patient were MY daughter, scared, alone and searching for answers, how would I want her to be spoken to? No matter who she is, she deserves to be cared about and heard.
3. Can you share specific phrases or approaches you’ve found helpful in building trust and offering clarity? “You are in the driver’s seat. You let us know how you would like to proceed and thats what we will do.” “We are here for you”. “You matter”.
4. What emotions do you carry after these conversations—especially when a woman is in deep fear, confusion, or pain? A heaviness that only prayer can satisfy.
5. How do you process it spiritually and emotionally when a woman chooses not to schedule despite your support and care? There is always that immediate moment … “what could I have said or done differently” Then I give it over to the Lord. While the outcome was not what I had hoped, a seed was planted and I pray I was able to show compassion and offer truth, representing LaVie Health and all we stand for well. Every day I am reminded, we serve a big, big God and HE is our way maker.
6. Can you describe a moment when you felt the Holy Spirit lead your words during a difficult conversation? Recently I asked a patient in an ultrasound appointment if we could pray for her. She was all alone and planned to have an abortion. The impact of that one question… “Can we pray for you?” caught me off guard. She sat silently for a moment. Then a small, silent tear fell from her eye. Still, so moved she couldn’t speak, she shook her head yes. Once she was able to collect her emotions, she whispers, ” my grandma was a praying woman.” The nurse, the patient and I had a beautiful touching moment of prayer all while the image of her unborn baby was still on the ultrasound screen. Soon after that day, we lost contact with this patient. We may never know the rest of this patient’s story, but God does, and that’s enough for me!
7. What have you learned about love, humility, and listening that you wish others could experience? Kindness matters. You truly never know what someone is walking through. A lot of times I hear mama’s say they think “abortion would be best” for one reason or another. What I have learned through listening is so many times the mamas who consider abortion feel they are choosing this out of love. When really, they are choosing it out of fear. When we are given a chance to meet that fear head on, talk about it and show our patient a way through it and past it, it can be life changing!
Alicia, Receptionist
1. How do you prepare your heart and mind before answering phone calls all day with women who may be abortion-minded? I’m not always prepared. There are many times that these conversations come up without notice or time to prepare.
2. How do you ensure she feels respected, seen, and not coerced while on the phone? I allow the patient to lead the conversation. I explain the services we offer and how they may benefit her but ultimately allow the patient to determine how the conversation goes.
3. Can you share specific phrases or approaches you’ve found helpful in building trust and offering clarity? Slowing down is key for me. Reception can be a busy area and it can be easy to rush through conversations in order to move on to the next thing demanding my attention. However, when I pause and truly listen, focusing on the patient’s needs, a connection and trust tend to form naturally.
4. What emotions do you carry after these conversations—especially when a woman is in deep fear, confusion, or pain? Heaviness, sadness
5. How do you process it spiritually and emotionally when a woman chooses not to schedule despite your support and care? I process through prayer, saying a quick prayer after the call and continuing to pray for her throughout the day as she comes to my mind. I trust that God’s plans are much, much bigger than my efforts.
6. Can you describe a moment when you felt the Holy Spirit lead your words during a difficult conversation? Recently, I was on the phone with a lady who was sharing with me some very difficult decisions she was facing regarding her pregnancy. I feel like the Holy Spirit specifically guided my words as we talked through her situation and into the details of scheduling an appointment. The conversation continued to stick with me throughout the day and the remainder of the week. Every time she came to mind, I felt prompted to pray for her.
7. What have you learned about love, humility, and listening that you wish others could experience? When someone meets you in your most vulnerable moments and you feel truly seen and loved, it changes everything. Here at LaVie, we may not always be able to change the difficult circumstances our patients face, but offering them genuine kindness and support creates a safe space to process and release fear. Making decisions from a place of peace rather than fear can shift the entire trajectory of a person’s choices.
I’ve learned that loving well doesn’t always mean fixing—it often means simply being present. Humility is setting aside your own assumptions and showing up with a willingness to listen without judgment.
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